Monday, July 23

in the know

As Family Pastor I feel it is my job to provide you readers (both of you) with some heavy learning. So today I am going to give you some serious street smarts. I know you have seen them, you have all questioned and you all need to know….so here goes:

They are called “Hi-Risers” not High Risers or High Riders or Low Riders but “Hi-Risers” these are cars that are not 4x4’s but are jacked way up on very large rims with low profile tires. But don’t call them “rims”!!! At and above a 20” rim they are referred to as Dubs which is a term that came from 22 inch rims, get it? Dubs = double 2’s = 22’s. These cars are normally larger cars and in the Hi-Riser world, 4 doors are just fine if not preferred.
So now you know the general term to describe these rides (aka “Whips”). We need to go deeper because not all Hi-Risers are created equal! There are 3 categories of Hi-Risers: Donks, Boxes and Bubbles! Am I going to fast? I will slow it down for you. And it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take some notes!

Donks: Mid-'70s Impala, Caprice and Monte Carlo or any mid-'70s ride with a sloping tail Mid-'70s, The key to sporting a true Donk is the keep the rear of the car lower that the front. Kind like a “I’m gonna get you” stance. Please note that there is a little confusion on the Donk secne. Some people think that it’s not a slanted stance but that the design of the car has a trunk that slopes down. To keep on the fence I personally consider both of these cars Donks because the slopping truck give it the same look of doing a wheelie, thus Donkified! (don’t use the word “Donkified” on the street…you will be beat up!)

Boxes: Mid-80s Impala, Caprice and Monte Carlo or any mid-80s ride with a boxey rear clip (a square car). This is an easy one to remember because it sounds like what it is. Also note that Boxes can be a Donk by keeping the front higher than the back.

Bubbles: '90s Caprices and Impalas, '90s rides that are rounded on both ends. Once again it sounds like what it is, a rounded off car. This can also be a Donk by following the rules of Donks!

I personally would be very careful if you decide to mod your car into a Hi-Riser because most insurance companies will not insure a car with a modified suspension.

Ok, as Family Pastor I have done my job & you have been educated.

BTW, Jim, I am willing to help you Donk-out your mini-van on your next visit.


Jim Bird said...

Sir, there will be no "Donk"ing. I'm a baptist, and it sounds too much like fun.

Kim said...

Wow..I think all of that "education" is frightening. If you would like to "donk" I know a certain Monte Carlo that would look pretty spiffy done up.

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Tracy R. Harmon, Ph.D. said...

...very informative. Thank you very much.