I have noticed a trend in the social network arena. This is not a new trend and it most definitely is not limited to Facebook and Twitter. What is this trend you ask? Well, I am so glad you asked because I am about to answer: the trend is people feeling the need to find their identity in their relationships. It seems that people don’t feel complete or even relevant if they do not have a person to call their own. We seem to think that a significant other is all we need to be happy, to be complete, to be who we were meant to be.
Disclaimer: Now being married to an amazing wife for 19+ years, you may be thinking: “What does HE know about being alone?” Well as of right now, I was alone longer than I have been married. And Don’t get me wrong, I love having my bride at my side and would not want it any other way but we cannot limit our identity to our relational status.
I think a part of the problem is what we have been fed. I am not talking about our food, I am talking about our other great intake: TV, Music and Movies. I am not going to tear them apart as some “Christians” do, I love entertainment! Just last night I went to a double feature and I enjoyed it. But when this intake starts to mold our core beliefs, I start to worry.
So here is the problem: The fairy tales messed up! The fairy tales got it all wrong. Our little girls and boys are watching them and idealizing these stories based on one major misconception: “And they lived happily ever after”. They base the whole movie on its climatic ending where the princess gets her valiant prince and they take the throne. As awesome is this happy ending is, it seems to teach us that we are not complete until our prince charming shows up and saves the day. See we forget one important thing in almost all of these movies/stories: The princess’/prince’s identity is not found in the end after the dragon has been slain and the evil witch has been conquered, NO! The princess’/prince’s identity is found in who their father is! See Snow white, Sleeping Beauty, Prince Charming and the rest, were BORN with their identity in place because of the family they were born into. Somehow we have changed that to them not being complete until the princess is united with her knight in shining armor.
So naturally we have all learned to look for our happy ending, our ride out into the sunset on our white horse with our princess/prince at our side. We want the happy ending but I fear it is because we have forgotten about our “Happy Beginning”.
You are not who you are because of who is at your side!
You are who you are because of the One who died!
1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
Lets see who your Father is:
Romans 8:14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
Lets see what your identity is:
Galatians 4:7 So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.
Lets see who your family is:
Romans 8:29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
To the Cinderella who feels like a slave, you are a daughter of the KING!
To the Snow White who feels forced into servanthood, you are a princess of the GOD!
To the Sleeping Beauty who feels dead and un-useful, you are alive in Christ!
To the warrior looking to be knighted for slaying the dragon, you are already in the LORDS army!
To the Beast looking for true love before the last pedal drops, True love died in your place and finds you perfect when His (Jesus) blood dropped!
2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
What the fairy tales got wrong, God got right!
Stop looking for your happy ending and lean on your happy beginning!!!
If you want to know more or have clarity, message me and I will be glad to talk to you, after all, I would love to spend time with such royalty as you!!!!
And no, dating is not bad….until you are defined by it.
Thanks to Kyle Idelman and Chris Hopkins for the thought.