Beauty and the Beast Rewind: the typical relationship.

This classic is filled with inspiration and romance. It captures the hearts and awakens the imagination. But the story is different than real life in only one way, yes one: Its backwards from the “typical” relationship. If we were to play this film backwards, we would see an all to familiar synopsis. One, most of us have been in close proximity to, if not played a major role in. Let me give you the rundown, backwards:

We have a couple that are madly in love, happy and destine to live happily ever after. A prince and princess. They have learned to love and earn the love of the other. But then one of them starts to change (maybe both of them change) and selfishness set in. The once prince charming now is prone to being alone, doing his own thing and even becomes mean. He has lost his manners and looks less and less like a gentleman with each passing year. Soon the love is a forgotten skill and self is the only motivation left. Now the transformation is complete. The man has become the beast. The woman tolerates it in hopes that things will get better, hopes for a small glance, a small jester, but the longer it goes, the home slowly becomes a prison: The beast, it’s warden. The request have been replaced with demands. The two were so much alike and in love-now are almost different species and incompatible at best. Things get so bad that all signs of love are gone and fear has taken its place. Questions fill her mind: How did he get this way? Why is he so mean? Can he change? Should he change? Is it may fault? The only thing left to to is flee, to run, to return home into the comfort of family, leaving the beast alone and lost. But the home of our youth cannot fill our souls of our adulthood. We need a helper, a true love, a friend for life.

So we have the classic story told backwards. A fairy tell turned around and into real life. This story happens too often. The culprit: complacency and selfishness. See when we have been exposed to something for a long time, that something becomes expected and even deserved. We forgot what it was like to earn the love of others because, well, it’s just been there all this time…and it’s MINE! This is our mistake and this is where the cures of the beast set in. Complacency leads to selfishness. Selfishness is a trait for beast, not couples.

So all along, the cause of the curse is the cure for the curse. Unselfish acts earn the care of others. Not demands, not expectancies, not arrangements. Nope, just unconditional love. That means, regardless of the way they act, I choose to love them. REGARDLESS. Once we set conditions, we are not being unconditional and unselfish. Conditions like honesty, kindness, and loyalty. If all these fail, unconditional love is there to win the day. And make no mistake: setting a number of times he/she can fail at any of these is a condition.

The great thing about unconditionally love is that it starts with the only one in the relationship that you can change: YOU. But rest assured, it is contagious. 

SO there is hope for the beauty and hope for the beast, as long as YOU are willing to set the new unconditional standard in the home.

And they lived happily ever after…

P.S. I choose to focus on the man to stay true to the fairy tail but this is a gender neutral problem. The man or the woman can become the beast, sorry ladies.

It's been a wile but I'm still here.

A quick update on the Cannons: we are loving life. We both have health, good jobs, an amazing church family with Crosspointe Fellowship Church. I have been too busy to be on here much but I see you are still checking out the blog so I will try to post something soon.

Thank you!

Thats my judgement and I’m sticking to it!

The other day I was checking out one of our Boys & Girls Club buildings and the custodian, who happens to be a retired roofer, offered to take me up on the roof to survey some leaks. We proceeded to set up one later, climb to the first level roof, pulled up another latter and set it up on the second level roof. Now I am not afraid of heights but I have extreme respect for them. I stay way off the edge and as safe as I can be. This retired roofer was very comfortable near the edge. Too comfortable for my taste. I asked him to step back and to be careful and he laughed at me. I’m so glad he got a laugh out of me but I was serious. He made me nervous. He informed me that he has been on roofs his whole life and was very aware of his footing. His confidence was not contagious at all! We checked the roof and climbed back down to solid ground and (in my opinion: safety).

What is my point in this story? Well, I am glad you asked. See, this man claimed to be careful and skilled but I didn’t care. I wanted him to be careful and step back. He claimed he was safe. I saw things another way. I wanted to absolutely ensure his safety. Now in the Christian world, this same scenario plays out every day-all day. You see someone approaching danger and try to warn them and help them and they jump and call it “judging them”.

Never once did this man assume I had anything other that his safety in mind. He didn’t mind my caring for him. He did, as I mentioned, find it humorous.

Please don't assume people are judging you when they try to help or point out a possible pour outcome of a situation. We are not judging you, we are trying to protect you. After all, it is our job:

Galatians 6:1 Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. 2 Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. 3 If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.

And if by chance you do call yourself a believer, you are baptized and claim to follow Christ and you do fall into sin and are fine with it; You can expect to be judged by other believers. Again, it is our job (in love, always in love):

1 Corinthians 5:12 It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. 13 God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, “You must remove the evil person from among you.”

So please don’t get offended when I ask you to step away from the edge. You may be safe, you may think you are in control but why chance it. Step back where we all know you will be safe.

“Based on the most recent Bureau of Labor Statistics data, there are 70 annual fatalities for Roofers per year”

Why We Fail

You have head it and I have heard it. Time and time again: You have tried and I have tried and we both fail. So much so that the next time, we don’t really even attempt. I am talking about the challenges we get from so many churches today. You know, after the three points and after the blanks are all filled in, there is the big “take-home challenge”, The “what to do”, the “how to live it out”, the “this week” or “next 40 or 90 days” and on and on. Really though, we have no reason to fail: we have just been showed where the Bible tells us to do it, we were told how Jesus or the other Bible characters did it and if they did it, surly we can. But we fail, I fail.

So why do we fail? In my opinion, we fail because we cannot succeed. Now, I know that sounds like a “duhh” statement but think about it for a minute. We cannot succeed in living a life that is pleasing to God. If we could do it, do you really think God would have sent Jesus to die for my sins? Our sins? If there was any other way, don’t you think that our creator would have taken that way. It is through the perfect life of Christ, his death and his resurrection that our failures are wiped away. Not through my success (or lack of) in meeting a challenge. 

Now don’t take this as a free pass to live a life of foolish choices and stupidity. But also don’t just try to live better because myself or some pastor told you to. You try to live a life pleasing to God out of sheer gratefulness for what Jesus did for us on the cross! But know that you will mess up and know that His grace is still sufficient! 

But also know that Jesus didn’t leave you here to fail. And unfortunately, with 3 solid points, an acronym or two and 3 to 5 blanks, there isn’t enough time in Sundays message for this part: Jesus gave you everything you need to succeed: The Holy Spirit. It’s truly sad that Jesus’ work on the cross isn’t talked about in a service every now and then, but the Holy Spirit gets no love in a lot of church messages (except for the charismatics!). See we were left with a helper, The Helper! We sing about him when we quote from Zechariah 4:6 ….’Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty. But we don’t share it in our challenges. Look, it is God’s will that you live a life pleasing to Him. Don’t you think He wants you to succeed at that? Every good and perfect gift is from above and the Holy Spirit is a good and perfect gift!. Instead we tend to convince you that we are right and you should meet the challenge because of that. We word it in cleaver ways so you can remember it, heck sometimes we say what God said SO MUCH BETTER than when he said it (Ok that was a little sarcastic but just listen sometimes.), we use creative visuals, movie clips and images. And it works, you and I walk out saying: “I’m gonna do it this time!” And we leave the Helper out completely and we fail. When will we learn to lean on Him? When will we accept the entire gift that God gave us? I don’t know about you but I am tired of trying to do something on my own that I was never meant to do on my own! My might is not enough and my power is weak, but by His spirit! 2 Corinthians 2:4 My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, 5 so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power.

Jesus was and is the greatest thing to ever happen on this planet but even he said that it’s best if he leaves because something else is coming:

John 16:5 “But now I am going to Him who sent Me; and none of you asks Me, ‘Where are You going?’ 6 But because I have said these things to you, sorrow has filled your heart. 7 But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you. 8 And He, when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment; 9 concerning sin, because they do not believe in Me; 10 and concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father and you no longer see Me; 11 and concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world has been judged.

12 “I have many more things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. 13 But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come. 14 He will glorify Me, for He will take of Mine and will disclose it to you. 15 All things that the Father has are Mine; therefore I said that He takes of Mine and will disclose it to you.

I am not knocking on any challenges you are given at any church. I repeat: the challenges are good! We should try to live better, we should be growing in spiritual maturity and we should repent of our sins. But what I want you to know is this: weather or not the challenge is offered with the assurance that we have a great Helper to get us through it, WE DO have just that: A great Helper, the Holy Spirit, to get us through it. So take the challenges but lean on the one who can and does succeed.

If we could have done it on our own, we wouldn’t need the Cross.

If we could do it on our own, we would not need the Holy Spirit.

So next time you think you cannot do it on your own...you are right, you cannot do it on your own and you don't have to!

They all got it wrong!

I have noticed a trend in the social network arena. This is not a new trend and it most definitely is not limited to Facebook and Twitter. What is this trend you ask? Well, I am so glad you asked because I am about to answer: the trend is people feeling the need to find their identity in their relationships. It seems that people don’t feel complete or even relevant if they do not have a person to call their own. We seem to think that a significant other is all we need to be happy, to be complete, to be who we were meant to be. 

Disclaimer: Now being married to an amazing wife for 19+ years, you may be thinking: “What does HE know about being alone?” Well as of right now, I was alone longer than I have been married. And Don’t get me wrong, I love having my bride at my side and would not want it any other way but we cannot limit our identity to our relational status.

I think a part of the problem is what we have been fed. I am not talking about our food, I am talking about our other great intake: TV, Music and Movies. I am not going to tear them apart as some “Christians” do, I love entertainment! Just last night I went to a double feature and I enjoyed it. But when this intake starts to mold our core beliefs, I start to worry.

So here is the problem: The fairy tales messed up! The fairy tales got it all wrong. Our little girls and boys are watching them and idealizing these stories based on one major misconception: “And they lived happily ever after”. They base the whole movie on its climatic ending where the princess gets her valiant prince and they take the throne. As awesome is this happy ending is, it seems to teach us that we are not complete until our prince charming shows up and saves the day. See we forget one important thing in almost all of these movies/stories: The princess’/prince’s identity is not found in the end after the dragon has been slain and the evil witch has been conquered, NO! The princess’/prince’s identity is found in who their father is! See Snow white, Sleeping Beauty, Prince Charming and the rest, were BORN with their identity in place because of the family they were born into. Somehow we have changed that to them not being complete until the princess is united with her knight in shining armor.

So naturally we have all learned to look for our happy ending, our ride out into the sunset on our white horse with our princess/prince at our side. We want the happy ending but I fear it is because we have forgotten about our “Happy Beginning”.

Let me tell you right here and right now that:

You are not who you are because of who is at your side! 

You are who you are because of the One who died!

Lets see how Christ sees you (Who you are!):

1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

Lets see who your Father is:

Romans 8:14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Lets see what your identity is:

Galatians 4:7 So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.

Lets see who your family is:

Romans 8:29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

So:

To the Cinderella who feels like a slave, you are a daughter of the KING! 

To the Snow White who feels forced into servanthood, you are a princess of the GOD!

To the Sleeping Beauty who feels dead and un-useful, you are alive in Christ!

To the warrior looking to be knighted for slaying the dragon, you are already in the LORDS army!

To the Beast looking for true love before the last pedal drops, True love died in your place and finds you perfect when His (Jesus) blood dropped!

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

What the fairy tales got wrong, God got right!

Stop looking for your happy ending and lean on your happy beginning!!!

If you want to know more or have clarity, message me and I will be glad to talk to you, after all, I would love to spend time with such royalty as you!!!!

And no, dating is not bad….until you are defined by it.

Thanks to Kyle Idelman and Chris Hopkins for the thought.